The Art of Approaching Women

By: Gambler

All male-female relationships began at some point as a convention between two strangers. In most societies and conditions, it is the male who is accountable for openly initiating such a meeting, although the female may well be complicit to a larger or lesser extent. Here we talk about specifically the art of approaching women in evening venues such as bars and night-clubs.

Bars and night-clubs are venues where people go to rally those of the opposite sex. Although a woman may present her plan as going out “dancing” with her friends, she is there exclusively for the potential of a meeting with a fitting male. Her schema – and her friends – are there to guard her from the many not fitting males who may present themselves through the course of an evening.

Given this, a woman will frequently pursue her subconscious agenda of meeting a male she finds attractive by making it easier for him to approach her. Usually she does this through closeness – she stands or sits close to the male she likes. Sometimes her attention will manifest itself more clearly as an “invitation to approach”, which may take the form of a smile, long-lasting eye contact, or an actual verbal opening. The first step in the art of approaching women is for the male to develop sensitivity for these female ploys, many of which may – understandably, for fear of denial – be rather subtle.

Even without any invitations to approach, men should be able to quickly generate interest from scratch by observing a few social rules in the venue. The first of these is known as the “three-second rule”, where a man ensures the spontaneity of his initial contact with a group of strangers by approaching that group within three seconds of first seeing them. There may be occasions when this is impractical, but in general this is a useful rule of thumb because it gets the man outside of his head, and within a short time of entering the venue he should have engaged a decent proportion of people there. He will no longer be a stranger, but very much part of the party.

A man who is having fun, chatting to a lot of people, and creating a good energy about himself, is generating what we call “positive social proof”. People’s – and in particular girls’ – radars pick up on this, and he may find more approach invitations coming his way, or sets he opens opening more easily. On the other hand, a man who is on foot around the venue in a predatory way, not optimistic, or standing with his friends checking out from a distance potential targets often generates pessimistic social proof. People see him as painful and avoid him.

Practising working a venue is the groundwork stone for any successful pick-up artist, and it should become a fun and essential ingredient of his social toolkit. Go out, have fun, and be positive with people, and the positive rewards will be proportionate.

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