'Best Friend' Complex
By: Stanley Goldstein
Most of us have experienced this at some point in our lives. Consider this situation:
Richard
and Janice are best friends; they met in high school when they were
both assigned roles in the school play. They had to rehearse with each
other a lot since they both had lead roles, and so ended up together
most of the time. During this time they grew close and still remained
friends long after the play was over. They hung out a lot and even
though graduation drew a tear from both of them they ended up going to
the same college. There they spent more time together than ever before
and enjoyed each other's company. But they didn't enjoy it in the same
way; there was something more for Richard. Richard was interested in
Janice from almost the beginning; she comforted him in the worst of
times, kept him company when no one else did. What a great friend, eh?
Janice loved Richard for the same reason, but not in the same way. One
day Richard couldn't take it anymore and confessed his undying love for
Janice, and much to Richard's dismay, nothing changed. He remained
persistent, however, choosing to constantly reassure her about anything
she may doubt about herself. He treated her well and she appreciated
it, but she still didn't feel the same way. Richard tried again, but
Janice responded, "You're too dear to me, I can't stand the thought of
losing you if something ever happened." Sound familiar? This has
happened to me more than once, as well as to my friends, and I'm sure
it has happened to you.
You may feel alone if this happens,
but realize that it happens to a lot of people, and a lot of girls tend
to have the same reaction. I choose to call it "stupid girl bullshit"
but I feel that it's more than bullshit and more than just an excuse
(but it most certainly IS an excuse). I believe that since every girl
can do this, it must be somehow programmed into their minds. Instinct
again, AHA! My favorite word, the I word. It is my theory that although
Janice feels that she loves Richard and is only holding on to him
because he's such a great friend, she actually wants something more.
Here I go.
Women like a challenge because it
may show that the male is alpha (read my other essay). By being
constantly nice to Janice and showering her with affection, Richard
provides no challenge to Janice. She hereby decides to use Richard as a
guideline for everything she DOESN'T want in a male. What is this
madness!? She's hanging out with me because she doesn't want me!?!?!
Yep. How could this be so? Well, by getting to know you better she also
gets to know about how guys that she wouldn't want to get to know act.
Get it? It's very simple, this this example:
Clubette
the cavewoman notices Varg the cavemen looking at her funny. They
examine each other to find out what they each have to offer. Clubette
notices that Varg never finds the fire, never walks ahead of the group
of cavepeople, never gets the first bite of the meat. Basically, he
isn't an alpha male. In the short time that she's gotten to know him,
she's also gotten to know the characteristics of what isn't an alpha
male and thus leaves Varg's side for Thor, the alpha male.
Why, you ask, is it that she leaves him just like that? I mean come on;
Janice didn't leave Richard's side just because she wasn't interested,
she didn't leave him at all (yet). Well for one, cavemen are a lot
dumber than us, we aren't cavemen for a reason: we've evolved
consciousness. With consciousness comes the conscience. We feel
sympathy for others and thus choose not discard them, but keep them as
friends… After all, friends are allies, and allies help you in
spreading your DNA.
Now everything I said
doesn't mean girls like assholes, actually (according to some reading I
did) girls tend to MARRY more predictable nice guys. This is why: I
believe that if a female is not permanently attached to one of these
alpha males (as it happens 99% of the time) near her sexual peak (mid
to late 20s) she will end up with a Richard. Now don't hold on to your
hope, you'd just be wasting your time cause chances are if you're
Richard you won't want to hang on to Janice for 10 more years in HOPE
of her marrying you. Janice will only go for you as a last ditch effort
because she wants to spread her DNA, but not necessarily with you.
Thus, in short, the best friend complex is an evolutionary mechanism
evolved by females to ensure that they spread their DNA. One way it
does this is by using a non-Alpha male to compare to others, and
hopefully filter out all males similar to Richard. Another way is, in a
last resort, a single woman will take Richard's seed in order to spread
her DNA. This is just a theory, and I'm just a teen, but look at it
seriously.
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