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Do you suffer from "Nice Guy" syndrome?

By: Thundercat

 

I have a question for you...

Have you ever heard that old addage "Nice Guys Finish Last?"

Well, I'm here to tell you that saying is 100% true! But not for

the reasons you may think.

Being a "Nice Guy" with women doesn't work, not because you get too

caught up in what a girl wants and get stuck as a friend, but

because Nice Guys are typically very, very...

 

SELFISH!

That's right. When you're a "Nice Guy," you're not really being

nice, you're being EMOTIONALLY GREEDY.

Let me explain...

One of the biggest problems guys who are struggling with women face

is something I like to call "the Nice Guy factor."

So many guys have such a weak identity and so little self-esteem,

that they base their own self-worth on what other people THINK OF

THEM.

These guys are at the mercy of everyone else in their lives, so

they try their best to please the people around them, hoping

they'll continue to think highly of them, so they can feel good

about themselves. That's not so bad, right? It feels good when

others approve of you, doesn't it?

Most people look at this behavior and would instantly categorize

these poor men in the "Nice Guys" column. After all, they're the

ones who don't like conflict. They're the ones who don't want to

make waves. They're the ones who want everyone to be happy.

They are also some of the most selfish people on the planet.

Seriously. I know this because I used to be one of these people,

and I know all their dirty little secrets! And the point of this

newsletter is to make everyone who thinks of themselves as "nice"

or as a "victim" really, really pissed off!!!

All of you "Nice Guys" out there reading this are nothing more than

"people pleasers." Somewhere in your life, you found out that

pleasing people is a way to get other people to like you and admire

you so you can feel good about yourself. Whether it was the

acclaim of your parents, or the acceptance of your friends,

somewhere in your time on this planet YOU LEARNED to feel good

based on what other people think of you.

But I'm here to tell you that using other people's feelings and

goodwill like that is not only harmful, but dishonest!

Anyone who says "I can't stand conflict!" or "If you can't say

anything nice, don't say anything at all!" should do us all a favor

and move to the planet "Ideal" where life is wonderful, we all have

transparent heads, and there is no war. Only on this planet will

you be able to find that everyone is willing to give you the moral

support you need.

But that's the crux of the issue right there. All you "Nice Guys"

have a losing mentality about your need for support. Your

methodology is: "I am so loving and giving and nice, I expect you

to treat me the exact same way as I treat you!"

Here is the typical thought process of Nice Guys:

--"Don't disagree with me! It's not fair because I do so much for

you!!!"

--"Please be sympathetic and comfort me when I'm upset! I'm needy

and can't comfort myself."

--"Always be in a good mood. I am always trying to make you happy

and if I can't, I feel ashamed and mad at you!"

--"Pay attention to me when I need it! I've earned it after all

I've done for you!!!!"

--"Take care of me by doing what I'm afraid to do! I take care of

you, so you need to return the favor!!!!"

Look at those thoughts above, and ask yourself "If someone was

saying that to me, how would I react?" Now you know where women

are coming from when they don't want to have relationships with

"Nice Guys."

Once that happens and the needy demands of "Nice Guys" go unmet,

they fall into the deep pits of self-pity and depression. They

also feel a lot of shame and anger at their failure to please the

women they want, and though these "Nice Guys" can keep their

pleasant demeanor up for a long time, their resentment of the women

they want to please will grow and grow until it explodes in anger

and rage, either directed at others, themselves, or both.

This kind of mentality can extremely damage your self respect and

cause others to not want to be around you.

So what's a "Nice Guy" to do?

If you want to have success with women, you need to stop being

agreeable and instead be straightforward and honest, especially

when you have to go against the wishes of others and disappoint

them. You can do this with kindness and sensitivity, but you MUST

do this nonetheless.

Only by being honest, with yourself and with others, will you be

able to overcome the selfish "nice guy" habits you have adopted in

your life. And when you do this, you will stop caring about what

other people think of you because the source of your validation

comes from the fact that you're being true to yourself and

straightforward with others, and you will cease to harbor

resentment and anger, and have more self respect and less depression.

That is the only way I have found to truly stop being a "Nice Guy"

and become the type of man other people can respect. It can be

hard being honest with others (especially yourself), but in the end

it is far more rewarding than any other behavior you can adopt.

Your first step on the road to being that type of guy should be to

read my book The Art of Approaching. In it, you will learn how to

create the opportunities with women you'll need to practice being

straightforward and honest with them. If you can be reading my

book in literally minutes by clicking below:

Click Here To Download Now!

Once you adopt this new way of thinking, you will see your success

with women dramatically improve, so don't wait! Get The Art of

Approaching right now.

Wishing you success,

Thundercat

 
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