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What You Can Learn From Strippers About Picking UP Women

 By: Derek Vitalio


Normally, we only think of men as studying advanced seduction psychology and techniques for picking up women.

Well, there’s a whole class of women who work on their seduction and pick up skills as well – in fact, seduction is the basis of their entire livelihood.

I’m talking about strippers and exotic dancers. And believe it or not, the advice I give you guys is almost identical to the advice I give to girls who are dancers.

Now, strip clubs aren’t really my thing – as soon as you pay, you become a customer. And while I enjoy conversation, I don’t like yapping it up with a dancer and keeping her from her paid work.

But I tapped into the scene a little when I took private ballroom dancing lessons. It turned out that my instructor was also a stripper at a classy club about thirty minutes from my place.

So I had the privilege of hanging out with her a lot, going shopping, and watching dance professional competitions together here in South Florida. She’s fun to hang out with, even if she’s a little kooky in the head in some ways. And through her I’ve met some of her other stripper friends.

She knew that I study seduction and that I was well practiced at picking up women, and as an exotic dancer her income is almost exclusively based on how seductive she can be. So of course she wanted to pick my brain. And the advice I gave her and two of her dancer friends is almost identical to the advice that I give to everyone else.

I repeatedly say that a guy MUST master his nonverbal skills to win with women. It’s the number one thing to master above all else.

Well, the core tools for a stripper working for tips and lap dances are largely nonverbal as well.

When a girl gets up on stage, she has to know that she is the sexiest, hottest thing ever. She shouldn’t walk, but strut. Guys put down their drinks and notice when a girl’s onstage and walking like a sexy goddess.

Also, a dancer should NEVER break eye contact. Strong eye contact creates an animalistic communication. A girl who constantly breaks eye contact looks disinterested or aloof and will lose guys’ attention.

I told my friend to, “Fake It Until You Make It”. Even if you don’t feel sexy on the outside, consciously make yourself smile, strut, and do all the actions of nonverbal sexual cuing. Even if you just do the actions, you’ll begin to feel the emotion internally too.

Don’t feel sexy? Strut anyway and you’ll feel sexier.

Tired and don’t feel like smiling? Force a smile and your emotions will follow your motions. You’ll begin to feel happier and more upbeat through the very act of smiling.

And while a dancer’s at it, she should ALWAYS be smiling. Someone is always watching her. A smile communicates happiness, fun, vitality, and health, to name a few. A girl doesn’t need the perfect smile – it’s the act itself that is sexy. I tell girls to be the HAPPY stripper.

I tell girls to be prepared – do your hair, do your makeup, peacock yourself… but if you have some bad zit, your hair is a mess, or if you don’t feel confident about the outfit that you’re wearing, then relax about it. Being stressed about something will show through and guys will feel it – and a down attitude will be a bigger turnoff than whatever is causing the stress in the first place.

Great attitude and your nonverbal cues are way more important than any little physical characteristic.

And the number one most important principle to being a successful dancer and making lots of money is to HAVE FUN. The worst mistake I see with so many dancers is that they look BORED.

Instead, ALWAYS look like you’re having fun or are turned on – as if having fun and feeling hot were the ONLY reasons you ever started dancing in the first place.

I tell girls to joke around with the guys. Make them laugh. Anything can be fun and exciting when you have a smile on your face and the right attitude. But don’t do it in a fake manner. Actually and genuinely experience those great feeling states from the inside. You’ll be a happier person and the guys will feel it too and feel that you’re genuinely happy to be there.

Be enthusiastic. When a guy asks how you’re doing, don’t say, “Good.” Rather, look him in the eye and answer “Fantastic.”

I tell girls, if you meet a guy who is ugly or seems kind of stupid, talk to them too. Talk to EVERYONE. Don’t think of it as lowering your standards. Look at it as practicing your social and communication skills. Look at it as finding what’s best in this person. Remember that you’re also social proofing the room with your smile and great attitude – again, someone is ALWAYS watching.

Okay guys, I want you to now picture two kinds of dancers.


The first doesn’t smile and she doesn’t make eye contact with anyone.

She slouches.

She doesn’t strut but just walks around, doing the minimum to get by.

She looks bored.

When she talks to you the first (and often last) thing she asks is if you want a dance. (Or maybe she makes a minute of small talk, but it’s stale and you can tell it’s just her routine she’s said hundreds of times before she asks you if you’ll buy a dance.)

She only sees you as a dollar sign and she wants to get to the money exchange as fast as possible.

She completely lacks enthusiasm and you can tell she’d rather be doing something else – maybe anything else.

Okay, now how many GUYS do you know who go out to meet, attract, and seduce women who act EXACTLY like this, or at least like parts of this description?

They don’t smile, they slouch, the don’t strut, they dress in a boring manner, and they don’t hold eye contact with girls. They’re not interested in talking to the less attractive ladies (missing opportunities to social proof themselves) but they lack the confidence to approach the more attractive women. They don’t look like they’re having fun. When they finally do talk to a girl, they don’t joke, tease, or act lighthearted, but instead see the girl as an empty physical body, and want to get straight to the business of getting her phone number.


Now let’s take our dream dancer.

She may or may not be the best looker, but she’s got the best ATTITUDE and great NONVERBAL body language.

She’s got a big smile on her face.

When she dances she locks onto your eyes and holds piercing eye contact while she does her moves.

She struts like she KNOWS she’s hot and sexy.

She exudes an attitude of having FUN.


She talks to EVERYONE – even guys without looks, social skills, or money – and makes them feel good.

When she talks to you, she flirts, jokes, laughs, and is genuinely interested in what you have to say and who you are.

She KNOWS that she’ll get a lot of dances because guys fall in LOVE with her, NOT because she asked them for a dance. Rather, guys ask HER for dances.

Finally, let’s look at the equivalent, successful guy who easily wins the ladies. We can clearly easily see the crossover.

Most of his core game is nonverbal. Like the successful exotic dancer, he smiles at everyone. He holds piercing eye contact. He struts and has good posture and pushes out his chest like he knows he’s the shit. He’s enthusiastic and has fun no matter what the situation is or who he’s talking with. And he talks to EVERYONE, guys and girls and he has fun doing it, because he knows the hotties are watching. He’s working the ROOM, not the set. He doesn’t need to ask for phone numbers because girls ask HIM for HIS.

I’m giving you an analogy to draw from.

See how the average guy and the average stripper mirror each other?

And how the master pickup artists and the master exotic dancers are after the same goals and employ the same core seduction techniques?

Don Juans and strippers… I bet you never thought you had so much in common.

That’s all for today – if you actually want to up your game to a whole new level, check out the Seduction Science System, now in its 3rd Edition. It’s also the ONLY way to get your hands on my Nonverbal Sexual Cuing program. Plus, I’ve rebranded Masculinity Enhancement, which is now The Deep Inner Game Series… perfect for working on your internal confidence. Check ‘em out.




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